Flypaper

what do you feel before you take massive, possibly life changing steps?
when you make a decision thats so major, and now alls thats lefts to dos is... do it?
and youre just waiting for it to happen? or just waiting for that day to come?
how do you feel?

today i feel nervous. excited.
im in a state of anticipation where what i think i want and what i know is right for me are messed up
in a state where i cant even tell what either of those are.
you know, i made a promise to myself that i would take a certain major step towards being who i am before high school is out.
and i wonder if thats a bad thing?
but it just so happens to be working out.
which is strange.

on another note.
i have a secret. and it fills me with so much joy and love and happiness that i can't even fathom telling anyone, because knowing, and knowing how great it will be if i dont spill it, is like a huge happy bubble.
i cant wait til it overflows and bursts and i spill out balloons and puppies and rainbows and cupcakes (-->emma!)