cottage thoughts

its bitter
but i dont mind,
you're oh so sweet
i can rest
finally rest
[myheadtuckedunderyourarmicantbreathe]
with honesty.
tears marring my eyes
just slightly
i dont want to let go.
now that i've finally broke free.
i dont want to lose this.
i feel
you feel-
we
this               feels so
         oh so
rare.
like glass- like beach glass
washed and rounded and smoothed
but still fragile
don't drop me
                 you
                  us
                   this


floating
just floating
just existing
my thoughts
dont need a 
trail of bread crumbs
or a string or a path at all
knowledge without thought
thought
you can't trace
content.
its fine
everything is
is
is okay.
you're my inner view
ill make you fly.


such little things
my dad
masked
cutting grass as tall as my knees
three air mattresses staked to lie on.
washing my hair 
hand-me-down-shorts
sprawling out
mosquito coils
air dried clothing you can smell the difference.






ive never had
someone
a boyfriend
as great as you.
im not looking back
for once.
for once its all now and soon and eventually.
how you found me
and why you want(ed) to keep me
escapes me.
me and my messy hair cold nature sarcastic comments vapid mind useless words needy obsessive jealous careless lazy indecisive self.
so why are you holding my hand?
why do you kiss me on the mouth in a way that calls me special and priceless?






my dad is not a cuddly man.
at times he is downright
clausterphobic
but seeing him
hold my tiny mother
while she sleeps
like its both natural and magical
warms my heart
knowing he's so uncomfortable 
even as he tries to hide his grin from me.
they love the shit out of each other.
they make each others eyes sparkle
and getting close to fifty
he'll still reach for her hand
and she fills his days with words
and silly little things.