Flypaper

i got out of your car tonight and walked inside without looking back.
i don’t want that to have been the last time.
i sat down and held back the tears, then got up and made a drink.
you aren’t what i wanted. you aren’t what you wanted.
and it’s the same way with me.
we both wanted so badly to have something and be something that we just
are not.
i can’t handle this day.

i can even only try to write about it in chunks