Flypaper

there must be something wrong here.
i only ever want what i can't have.
why is that?
if i had you would i want you?
sometimes i can't be sure.

because how can i like so many people at once?
but of course
as always
it leads me back to you.
who ive never had.
and maybe never will
so possibly never will get over?
is that who i operate?
i don't know.

but i do know i miss a hand
reassuring
on the small of my back.
or protective arms around my shoulders
or the subtle brushing of hair out of my eyes.
little physical things like that.
i can't stand it when i get them from people
who don't mean anything to me in that way.
because my heart automatically leaps.
and my brain automatically wishes it was your hand
and your personal bubble touching mine