I never thought I would come to this.
Being a whinny, crying, diva.
But after being in a vocal jazz group for 5 years,
i've been put in the junior vocal jazz.
with the grade 9s and the vj virgins.
And I don't know what I'm gonna do.
My confidence is in the floor.
I'm considering quitting.
But I don't want to.
I'm just so upset about this.
And my friend told me I'm being a diva about this, that it's not a big deal.
And I really wanted to slap her, because she's in Senior.
Her second year, and she's in senior.
And I love her to bits,
but I'm so tired of always being in her shadow.
Never being as good as her.
It's always about Carmen in the Soprano Section.
Always.
No one else in the section gets noticed.
And it drives me nuts.
She always gets the parts I want,
always get the solos I try for.
It's maddening.
I love her, I'm proud of her. I don't begrudge her any of this.
But she doesn't understand what it's like to work and work and work and work and STILL not get noticed or even see any of it pay off.
To bust your ass for FIVE YEARS
and get DEMOTED over it.
So maybe I am a diva
So maybe I am making this into too big of a deal.
But try to understand
how crushing this was
and how hard I've been working,
only to see myself fall flat on my face.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
So fine, I'm a diva
Written by 'Nin at 7:37 PM
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3 comments:
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Janine,
Use that as a time to show off just how brilliant you are. You're a terrific singer, and who even knows what they were..or weren't thinking when they put you there. It blows my mind how they decided who got stuck where, but just know that you're going to do well wherever they stick you. You're entitled to be a diva, it's a lame situation to be in, especially when everyone else around you is getting put in groups like senior. But you know how many talents you have, don't you? This year, if you quit, you'll miss out on a HUGE learning expirience, and that's important. It's not the journey, cos lord knows the journey won't be what you anticipated, but it's the reward you'll get from it.
And, about the friend. I think EVERYONE has that one friend. Or they ARE that one friend. It's happened to me, and it'll happen to everyone. It absolutely reeks of terribleness, but you're ALLOWED to be upset about it.
I promise!
If yooou'd like to talk, Emma is here.
Well dearest. your situation is undeniably horrid. and i understand. i apologize for my sharpness in the texts the other day... but only because it must have shocked you. although, deep down, i believed that was what you needed that very moment. we love you Nin. whether you're in junior, senior, or choir of the world. and i would be so sad if you quit it all, as would everyone else in choir. i hear ya, it's no fun to feel unsuccessful. but count all the things you ARE successful at. writing, chamber, english, jazz, camp, an amazing exuberant confidence, a fantastic advice giver, and alibi issuer, genius for the most part, unless you hit the wall, and a great friend. breathe Nin. we love you.
:(
I'm sorry.
I know what its like to work and work and work and then fall.
It sucks.
But things get better, things work out, they always do.
AND think about it this way, you are most likely going to get lots of solos because you are older and WAY more experienced!
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