Maybe I am Afraid

I lied.
I am afraid of you.
I'm terribly, horribly afraid of you.

You don't have to look at me
(you can't look at me)

and you just see right through me.
You see through me and under me and over me and inside me.

"Hello ______. Dance with me in the snow while your eyes glisten like melting ice... and the frost behind them thaws"

You ask me why I'm so afraid of you

and i reply with tentatively that cannot be read on text that i am not afraid of you.

In truth, I don't know completely. It's the things you say.
How you get it bang on everytime.
How you know. How you just know.

"You... need love. I think it's why youre so...hurt...cold. You need something to compliment the artist that you are. Like I said. Romance, love...expression."

Kid. We both know I'm not allowed to have them in you.
We both know very well.

"Don't try to be cold and closed off. I know thats not you at all. You're afraid of this and you don't want me to know it. Let me help you."

I can protest it all I want, but I am.
I had a dream the other night, i was in your arms. You were speaking, and laughing, and when I looked up at you, you weren't you.
You were him.
And I woke up and cried.
I didn't answer your call, for that and other reasons.

I don't want that again.
And I don't understand this. I don't know why this is happening.

"Because i'm a bi polar kid whos in a manic phase who is attracted to a bi polar kid who doesn't know what she wants."

Oh god.