It's not give and take, its do or die

I've been working so much lately that I haven't been writing.
And thats sad.
And I haven't been sleeping well either.
Can't seem to stay awake during the day, or sleep until after 3am.

And if I do
I just have more nightmares.
Which provoke me to sleep less
which leads me to more nightmares when I do...

I can't believe summer is almost over
in four days, I'll be back at school
where I can't write at all...

My eatting habits have started to deminish again.

This is why I look so sick and thin right now.
nothing to worry about guys,
just not enough sleep and a bad meal schedual
I'll perk up soon enough.

My grandmother is gone and my mother is driving me insane again.

I complain about work lots, but to be honest, i love my job.
and i love the money.
so there we go.
I got payed on friday, so I intend on rading the dollarstore and staples to get myself some nice new notebooks.

I bought a simple ring a while ago.
Its silver, and it has to stones of amber on it.
One is a yellow-gold amber, and now is an orange-brown.
It's on my left hands middle finger.
To symbolise that my writing and my music and my self are all on in the same.
And how these things will always be at my center.

The writing and the music making up who I am
But also who i want to be, and even just my sense of being and person also makes up me and fuels my music and writing.

I'm saving money to move away when I'm older.

I'm like my grandfather. (I always refer to him as Ali)
I have itchy feet.
Staying in one place drives me mad.
And it drove him mad too.
He had a house built up in the mountains back in Yemen just for him.
He lived in it for one day, then moved out.
He couldn't take the silence.
He's lived in Yemen and England and Canada
Here and BC
and owned so many houses in between.

I want to travel on boats like he did.

Before he died, he was having some trouble.
And he believed for a very long time
that he was on 'the boat'
But I was never sure which one.
From what he said and I made out,
I think it was then one from Arabia to England.
But I can't be too sure.

I'll visit all those places one day.

And more.

Athazagoraphobia - The fear of being forgotten.

Here's a thought;
We're lucky to be so young and free.