Panic Attack VS Creative Hysteria - & all the writings that followed

i think im having a panic attack
my body is shaking
cant find a thing
my words dont make sense
random disconnected
phrases
images
chase eachother in my mind
no.
they are my mind

look at where im standing
& tell me quick
cause i cant see from my angle.

its not even
what i write anymore.
its how i write it.

why am i rocking?
where did this rhythm
come from --------------/^

my neck is empty.
i just realized.
he took it.
he took it.
yes i gave it
but more so
he took it.

-

"Her face is an open book"

To you, i am a book.
you open me up
& you read all I am.
Too bad not everything
lies in plain text.
Too bad you can't read
anything but what is writen.

Don't lose your place;
because then you'd get lost
as everything
everything
changes around you
before you
but behind
the closed covers.

-

Everything aches.

my own words
sting
& wound
myself.

are you so quick to give up?
am i?

crying shouldn't hurt
so why am I so scared to try it?
so why do I avoid it
at all costs?

turning up
a comforting song
as loud as it can go
hurting my already pounding head
trying to block it all out
while at the same time
blast everything
out of my poor little mind.