A word is not the same with one writer as with another.  One tears it from his guts.  The other pulls it out of his overcoat pocket.  ~Charles Peguy

so, why don't you love me?

i admitt it, 

i sometimes think about our lives if we were together.

and i like how it looks in my mind.

and i even put in the fights.

so sue me

i like to sit in tims with my best friend

and smile at people.

so sue me.

i get angry easily,

i yell.

my heart breaks into a million pieces

i cry.

i feel too much always. nothing is half way. ever.

i hate you

 

 today, i painted my toenails flat pink.
they match the apology flowers you brought me.
this was not done on purpose.

you havent written back, and that breaks my heart.

i want to change my style. and who i am.

i often feel this way

but im finally doing something about it. 

watch for music videos feature little star and i! they'reacomin'! 

A response I wrote long ago to Bev's blog re: high school relationships.


Bev, I'm afraid I must disagree. High school relationships are not pointless.
I think high school is such a difficult and often sad time, that we need to get as much joy from it as possible.
I think that the more we learn and practise love, the better it will be and the more ready for it we will be when we find that right person.
And besides, how will we know the right one if we don't know the wrong ones?
I'm in a highschool relationship right now. I'm happy with him in a way that I was not before. Which is neither to say that I was not happy before, or that should things end, I'll never be happy again. The trick is keeping your grasp of reality with you at all times. On that note, I would not even say that I'm in love with him, or have even ever truly been in love with anyone.
Each relationship is differnt. Each person is different, and we ourselves are everchanging individuals. I know more about myself as time goes on and as each lover and friend comes and goes; who I am, what I want, what I need out of life, and who fits with me and where I'm going.
Relationships are about having this partnership. This (mostly) united front against the evils of the world. It's about having support. It's about giving it. Someone you can call and tell them all the things that went wrong that day, and not worry about them judging you. Some you run to, to tell them you got the part and failed the test.
Some who'll understand, or at least try. Someone who'll pick up and love the little things about you that you never even noticed yourself
[ I hold my cigarettes like a pencil, and bit my lip when I'm nervous ]
It's about having that feeling that something just works.
What;s wrong with finding happiness with someone at a young age? Everything must end, yes, but why should the future prevent a kind of joy that is so priceless now?
I can't let my fear or my assumptions of the future control my life now.
"there's no time like the present"
no, there's no time BUT the present.
The only time that exists is now.
And now?
I'm very, happy.

These are a few of my favourite things

www.chordbook.com
wicked awesome site for people who are learing guitar and who, like me, suck at reading tabs. Lots of neato options on here. Check it out!

Monopoly at McDonalds
cause after all, we all of us like money right?


Vocal Jazz
and the "z" in this font! oolala!


The Millennium Libray
downtown! it's huge and quiet and full of books! lots of natural lighting, and i find i get loads of work done there


My new alarm clock
it plays my iPod for me in the morning! HELLA DANK!


The new building at my school!
it's so new and large! at long last, I do not have to walk through the freezing minus a million cold to get from class to class! and free Wireless? can i get a HEYYA?


Gold
Gold or yellow seem to be the new "it" colours for me lately. Paired with orange/red, i think its the perfect colour scheme for fall in this dark cold city.


Zombie Movies
I love zombies movies as much as the next man-GIRL! or more. Who doesn't enjoy some good zombie rampage and carnage? Haven't seen Zombieland yet. WANT TO!

Yes, they know that it will pass,

but,

if you are a friend of any sort than,

play along

and catch a cold.

Ne me quitte pas mon cher

I have little to write about,
or little words to write with.
Am I the only one in that funk?

This Love - Maroon 5;
I loved this song in grade 6
which I think is when it first came out.
My best friend at the time got me their cd for my birthday.
I lost it at somepoint.

I always have been a scatter brained child.

Other than that, life is much the same. Long weekend.
No Easter plans for me. My family isn't like that.
I look forward to books, coffee, walks,
and people.

Today, I look forward to going for a walk by myself, with my camera.
Tomorrow, I look forward to seeing a friend.

Camera time.