finally

tell me,
do you recognize me?
its been so long,
and god knows
i've grown.
i see you
crossing the room
with that same old grin.

oh
youre coming nearer
oh
youre eyes are still so-

just a new women
one who must have so recently
been just a little girl
just another conquest
just another pair of eyes
lips
breasts.

and i falter
because i know if you touch me again
like you did so many- so long-
i'll shrink down
to orginal size.

after the battle,
i painted stars in our bedroom*
no prayers
no pleas
no promises.
i painted stars in the room
where we slept and wrote and moved and loved.
and with ever stroke
i breathed your name
and saw your face.
after the battle, when there was nothing left
i recreated us.
after the battle,
i awaited your return, as i promised i would.
no sobs
no screams
no songs.
i waited,
for the war we created to be won or lost.